Lets talk Libido
Some things are easy to talk about and others carry some weight and embarrassment. But I strongly believe in being frank and open about the issues we encounter in life. Often half the problem is solved already by just sharing and talking about it . So lets drop the taboo and the giggling and talk Sex Drive also known as “Libido”. It is both a hot topic and a very common problem amongst women. I come across it regularly in my clinic; you are not alone! Lets see how Homeopathy can be helpful with Libido problems.
Ups and downs in Libido affect both men and women. It may be seen as perfectly natural and coped with trouble free. Or become problematic occasionally or for some, long term.
Some women struggle with a low sex drive from the word go and others more recent in their mature life. It may affect relationships with life long partners. Singles may find it an issue too, when its preventing intimate relationships. But it may also be troublesome to those who seek their own pleasure independently; then find their outlet of pleasure shut down. What is a problem to one, may not at all be a problem to another. We are in fact all unique in our needs.
An indicator for overall health and balance
The truth is Sex and Libido are a normal part of our health just as breathing and eating are. Over time with my experiences in my practice and from what I see around me; I have come to view Sex Drive as an indicator for overall health and well being. This is simply so because Sex and Intimacy are ‘luxury items’ so to speak, in the scheme of vital functioning. If anything is out of whack this will be the first area to suffer. You basically don’t need to be sexually active or enjoy sex in order for you to survive and live. Unlike needing your heart to beat or your food digested for instance.
Libido is not just Hormones
Libido is determined by and dependent on many different factors. So many in fact; that in todays fast paced and stress full world its a miracle we experience it at all. If you ask me. It is easy to blame the hormones and surely they have a big part to play. But have you thought about how those hormones come into being or how they work together or against each other? Many women haven’t and I think it is important they do.
Libido is a complex issue and determined by factors like hormonal balance and function. But underlying all that; Libido is a result of how we feel in ourselves; what’s going on around us and how we cope with that. What other health issues we have. What experiences we have had with sexuality, libido and our identity in the past. Our upbringing and beliefs, self image and confidence are main players in this game. Not to speak of the anatomy of your relationship and your partners own make up in this too. All these factors hook into our hormonal system and desire from different angles.
Here is a great article about how hormones affect your Sex drive, by Sara Gottfried . But read on to find how Homeopathy can help lack of libido.
Men and women experience sex and libido very differently whether we like to admit it or not. Sometimes it seems impossible to get messages about your needs across. It may feel like you are so mismatched in this area. Especially if this hasn’t always been so between you. We all change over time and our needs and desires change with us. If you don’t talk about it you literally loose the ability to connect.
For some women there may be an added burden of past experiences or self limiting beliefs. We have often received messages about our femininity and role in relationships. We are constantly bombarded by images that show us what we aren’t, but should aim to be. Our self worth is frequently hung up on our care for others. We are not good at looking after ourselves, or getting to know our own needs and wants. It is good to recognize this. This is why in Menopause there may be struggles do do with identity and purpose; a feeling of being at a loss of knowing who to be. If you don’t know who you are, what you like or want; how then can you full fill that in your relationship?
Unaddressed these things have the potential to become huge elephants in the bed (or the car or haystack if you prefer) and ignored. Ostrich politics is not going to resolve this. Feelings of guilt and shame and frustration are also not conductive. They will only stand in the way of the freedom to express lust and desire and pleasure. So openness and honesty are much more conductive here. Yes, you can love your partner with all your heart and not enjoy the thought of intimacy or intercourse. Your heart may be switched on; yet your genitals may be on strike. Such is the complex being we are. I’m going to explain how Homeopathy is able to help in this complex Libido issue.
Lacking Libido often becomes obvious when
- Sex and intimacy become less frequent
- Your partner points out your disinterest in sexual activities
- Talking about the problem becomes difficult, its becoming a point of contention in the relationship
- There is no longer the same enjoyment in sex and climax is more difficult to achieve or absent.
- Sex feels like a routine and is less dynamic and more mechanical
- There is aversion to sex, touch and togetherness, its avoided.
- Even after sufficient stimulation there is no arousal
- There is no desire to try new approaches and break the drought.
Influences on sexual desire may be
- Daily or work Stress and distractions, living situation
- Marital stresses, relationship issues other than sex related.
- Mental/ emotional issues (like; recent or historic traumatic experiences or abuse, Grief and loss, self image problems, depression, anxiety, changing life circumstances or stages in life).
- Physical complaints of the genital area (Vaginitis, Vulvodinia, Incontinence, STD, Lychen Sclerosis, Pain, Dryness, effects from Hysterectomy.
- Hormones; use of Contraceptives, Childbirth/ Pregnancy, thyroid issues, Menopause and hormone therapy.
- Alcohol, smoking, drugs
- Medications and side effects of medications
- Other underlying health issues like Diabetes, Obesity, Chronic complaints.
The list is endless really but understanding this may give some tools to help address the problem.
A multi pronged approach
It is clear to see that any combination of issues in the above two lists may result in different situations. Each expressed in different experiences. That explains why solving a lack of sexual desire is not a ‘one fix for everyone’ kind of a problem. And it also points us to the fact that oftentimes ‘just’ fixing your hormones, or ‘just’ talking to a psychologist; is not going to resolve all of the problem. Depending on the factors at play a multipronged approach is often required.
Homeopathy and Libido
Homeopathy is a unique therapy. It can be employed in issues underlying or resulting from lack of libido and I have seen good success. The reason for this is that homeopathy on its own is actually quite a multipronged approach as it;
- looks at the whole person. Including their physical, mental and emotional state. It does not separate eg your lack of desire from your digestive issue or your grief about loosing your job.
- takes into consideration lifestyle/diet/ habits
- considers all of the health history and family health history and trends
- includes personal life (hi)story, including social aspects and relationship and family dynamics
- focusses on the personal experience of the situation at hand, the unique expression of symptoms.
- can address historic experiences and underlying issues through the unblocking and balancing of systems.
Homeopathy may also be used together with other approaches and therapies to help with Libido. It does not rule any of these out. Some women seek homeopathic support in order to avoid or reduce the need for hormonal or other medication; to improve their sexual life. Through balancing the body systems homeopathy can help in balancing the hormones.
Why homeopathy in low Libido?
Because Libido is so complex it is best to seek advice from a professional homeopath. They can guide you through your individual healing process and journey to improved balance; in health, in life and therefore improved sexual experience.
This means that seeing a homeopath will help you resolve the issues that need resolving in your unique situation; by looking at you as a unique whole being. It will be a process of discovery that takes time; rather than an overnight success. Although each person responds to the process individually of course.
With blocks removed and by restoring harmony on all levels, there will be more balance within. Women often feel this as an increased resilience; they sleep better, have more energy and are more efficient in coping with the stresses that life brings. Which increases a sense of competence and confidence. One woman told me she felt the process of working with a homeopath as being very empowering. That it helped her come back to herself as a person. And I see it raises the awareness of self, identity and personal boundaries. All of which ultimately help define direction and clarity in expressing needs and desires as integral parts of our person.
When life becomes easier to cope with and less stressful, energy will flow better and more free. This gives an increased sense of wellbeing. And as I mentioned above, the more easy things flow and work; the more energy and enthusiasm there will be left for the ‘luxury’ functions of sexual desire and function.
If you wish for help in this issue and to use Homeopathy to help with your Libido issue; Please feel free to book a 15 minute free chat to discuss your options. Or book a consult by clicking on the button below.